"the days are long and the years are short."

-teen

Jean Cottrill

Today I called my Grandma. Confession: the first time since I've moved here. Ya... that'd make it like 3 months :| Let's just say I'm not always the best grand-daughter. Any ways, I'm so glad I did. My Grandma is such an amazing strong woman. She had an extremely hard childhood during the depression, never finished high school, but found God in the midst of it all. She met Edward, fell in love, and got married. They had a family which she is so proud of, but tragically while my dad was in college and my aunt and uncle were still in high school, Ed died suddenly. 

My Grandma and I are very different people and do not agree on many things. But she is always so happy to hear from me and we have a great time talking. Due to a broken hip at Christmas, she wasn't able to make it to my wedding, and I missed having here there indeed. 

We had fun talking about the wedding, her recent birthday, and all the family kinds of things, and she gave me some needed (and unneeded) advice. But the one thing that stuck with me the most, near the end of the conversation, was when she said,

"It doesn't matter who you were ten years ago. It matters who you are today."

We hear these kind of cliché quotes in every movie, and God knows I read them too many times a day on Instagram. But having a wise woman who has really LIVED life say something like that to you... it sticks. It's one of those kind of truths that seem to bounce right off my heart no matter how many times I repeat it in my head. I needed her to say that (although I wouldn't say that it was exactly ten years ago I regret... try a few years forward). And now I need it to settle into my mind for a good while.

Thanks Grandma.

-teen

los angeles and the nights are scandalous

the other night was supberly fun and i took some great shots. 

me and blaze's dear friend (and recently awesome m.c.) took us to some fun little places around downtown l.a., something i shamefully haven't taken the time to explore very much of. some of the friends we went out with our the best and most genuine people i've ever met. aren't friends the best?

thanks tedley! (and sorry for the bad relationship advice).

married and matching

there's a drought right now

model jacob

this car was straight up running in the middle of the street with no one in it

diva

so in the moment

channelling high school

joy vs. happiness

joy is a lifestyle,

happiness is a moment.

i love the emotion of being happy, but it's fleeting. joy is something you have to work for, but if you welcome it in properly it might just stay around.

-teen

imperfect

don't ever get used to the fact that someone cares so deeply for you that they have made a commitment to love you forever. 

each day let it sink in slowly as you roll over to watch their sleeping face. let the truth of the idea wash over you, a wave of shock every time.

you're not worth it, but don't dwell on that. instead envelop and grow and harvest and relish in the love, and maybe some day you'll be worth it.

each day, let it surround you quickly in the moments you hold your fists clenched. let the hope of the promise rain down on you, drowning your dark thoughts every time.

don't ever get used to the fact that someone cares so deeply for you... that they have made a commitment.. to love..you..forever.

let the covenant bring you to your knees every time.

the big move

well it's all been said and done and i am now officially in a different country on a different coast, feeling a little overwhelmed to say the least. it's like i haven't even had a moment to pat myself on the back.

but it's during these crazed times in life that we can show our true colours and i hope my intention comes through clearly. all i have to do is finish planning a wedding, get married, get a place, move, get a job... oh and a greencard ;)

it's probably a bit harder than it sounds but don't worry about me!

me "i have a confession to make"

pause

blaze "what"

pause

blaze "did you eat something?"